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THE AMAZING MACHINE

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Mini
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PostSubject: THE AMAZING MACHINE   Thu 28 Feb 2008, 5:15 pm
The Amazing Machine
By Eloise Lane, aged 8.


Once, there lived this most beautiful princess, Princess Nimbin, her parents the King and Queen and their maid, Mary. One day the King was working on his latest invention: the Craver 2000. What it did was: whatever creature you wanted to be, you would be!
“What a great invention!” thought the King when the Craver 2000 was finished. When the Craver 2000 was finished, he tested it on the royal dog, Fifi. Fifi turned into a human but she wasn’t wearing any clothes! Nimbin immediately fainted! So they had to turn Fifi back into a dog again.
The next day, Mary was mistaken and thought it was a washing machine! When she used it, she turned into a seahorse! The princess realised immediately. She turned herself into a mermaid princess and went under the sea to find Mary.. She was still the most beautiful princess but she was a mermaid.
The next day, Nimbin found Mary and they ate kelp biscuits and sponge cakes. Nimbin said “We have to do something!” So they swam and swam until they found the machine. When they got there, they were very hungry. Then Nimbin realised that she had made a purse out of seaweed and put kelp biscuits and sponge cakes in it. They slept in a clam shell and made sheets out of kelp. Finally they turned back into humans and they were wearing clothes, but they were the wrong ones! So they had to swap clothes. That night, they all had a dream about the Craver 2000 (improved version).
THE END!
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PostSubject: Re: THE AMAZING MACHINE   Thu 28 Feb 2008, 5:17 pm
Well done Elly. I would like to see more of your work on here!
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PostSubject: Re: THE AMAZING MACHINE   Fri 29 Feb 2008, 8:58 pm
Mini- that was an amazing story. I really enoyed it! You've got a great creative imagination! I really like the small touches like kelp biscuits.

Well done, please post more! We are going to be adding a heap of kids stories in this section soon, but your's is first, and surely one of the best. king < the princess
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PostSubject: Re: THE AMAZING MACHINE   Thu 06 Mar 2008, 7:43 pm
CONGRATULATIONS!! you are the first under 10 to post a story in this section!!! you have won a million dollars! just kidding!


hey, i love the name of the machine and its a pretty cool machine even without the name.
you have a great imagination. i hope you write some more stories on this site.
LORI
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PostSubject: Re: THE AMAZING MACHINE   Fri 07 Mar 2008, 8:20 pm
Gr8 ellie,
I especially liked the bit about the Kelp biscuits and Seaweed cake.
Keep up the good work.
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PostSubject: Great Story   Sun 09 Mar 2008, 6:58 am
This is a great story Eloise, keep up the good work and don't stop writing.
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PostSubject: Re: THE AMAZING MACHINE   Mon 10 Mar 2008, 6:15 pm
Great work Elouise, keep it up Very Happy.

Billy
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PostSubject: Re: THE AMAZING MACHINE   Fri 14 Mar 2008, 5:35 pm
That's an exellent story for your age. I wouldn't have been able to write like that back then! Keep up the good work and never stop writing!!!
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PostSubject: Re: THE AMAZING MACHINE   Thu 10 Apr 2008, 4:51 pm
woohooo i loved it!
i liked the fact that although the princess was a mermaid, she was still the most beautiful mermaid, and i was thinking maybe when Fifi the dog got changed into a human maybe she should be wearing clothes made of dog fur?
but your story Very Happy
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PostSubject: Re: THE AMAZING MACHINE   Thu 10 Apr 2008, 7:53 pm
dont you think its funny that soem people write really long posts and some just write' that was great' or 'awesome' otr 'keep 'em coming'?? lol just kidding. i still like your story mini
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PostSubject: Re: THE AMAZING MACHINE   Sat 12 Apr 2008, 3:44 pm
mmmm not trying to blow your theory out of the water, but sometimes you just want to tell them how great there story was but don't know how to tell them other then that was awesome or great....hehe they could add more though couldn't they Razz
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I am one half of The Evil Coin Skin Buddies!
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PostSubject: Re: THE AMAZING MACHINE   Wed 14 May 2008, 4:22 pm
well that was brilliant! like that very much!
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Mini
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PostSubject: Re: THE AMAZING MACHINE   Sun 03 Aug 2008, 7:50 pm
[center][b][strike]BILLY!can you please spell my name correctly:E-L-O-I-S-E! okay?
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Lori
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PostSubject: Re: THE AMAZING MACHINE   Mon 04 Aug 2008, 7:33 pm
hes justsilly, ignore him
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First, God created man. Then he had a better idea.

Seriously people! Stress Less!!

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Mini
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PostSubject: Re: THE AMAZING MACHINE   Thu 07 Aug 2008, 6:00 pm
thanks Lori
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THE AMAZING MACHINE

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