El
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|  Subject: Heavens' Lair  Thu 03 Jul 2008, 2:59 pm | |
| I'm not even sure why I pulled this from my 'Blue Files,' nor am I actually sure this is poetry, but I hope you enjoy it!!!
HEAVENS' LAIR [LOVE AND WAR]
It’s been a long, long time since we went behind enemy lines,
You almost forget you’ve been there.
It’s been such a long, long time you’ve forgotten
All those days spent days spent dying,
All those nights spent crying,
All those wounds to the mind and soul,
An open hole for the world.
And you’ve been there, so far from your heavens’ lair.
And life may not be perfect,
You’re probably thinking of something more,
But in the end alls’ not fair,
In the games we call Love and War. |
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travdog
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| | Subject: Re: Heavens' Lair Sat 12 Jul 2008, 12:53 pm | |
| I loved the ending. Very nice idea. Sorry but the rest of the poem just didn't work for me. I feel like it didn't flow. Don't haggle on my opinion alone though, wait for some others to comment.
Keep 'em coming!!! |
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chocolatelover
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| | Subject: Re: Heavens' Lair Wed 16 Jul 2008, 6:08 pm | |
| Don't listen to him I liked it all! 
I liked the last bit best too though. And the Title was very good. Did you think of it yourself? |
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Princess
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| | Subject: Re: Heavens' Lair Wed 16 Jul 2008, 7:15 pm | |
| I liked it....And loved the ending!! I also really like the second last paragraph.
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Also, I'm so straight i could be a ruler. Leggo now theres a nice hysteric. |
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Vampire!
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| | Subject: Re: Heavens' Lair Sun 03 Aug 2008, 12:51 pm | |
| Erin, you know I'm a fan of just about anything you've written.
I liked it. I thought it flowed okay. I really loved the ending. Keep the poetry coming!
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Come, gentle night; come, loving, black-browed night;
Give me my Romeo; and, when I shall die,
Take him and cut him out in little stars,
And he will make the face of heaven so fine
That all the world will be in love with night...
—Romeo and Juliet, Act III scene ii
"Look after my heart -I've left it with you." -Edward Cullen, "Eclipse" |
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Lori
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| | Subject: Re: Heavens' Lair Mon 04 Aug 2008, 7:37 pm | |
| i liked it. i like the idea. but i also agree with Trav, it didn't really flow well. sorry but yeah.
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